Saturday, January 26, 2013

Serbia, Macedonia, Albania, Montenegro, Bosnia: UK Must Fulfill Conditions to Exit the EU

Njuz.net, the Serbian equivalent to The Onion, relayed the following faux news [sr]:

Serbia, Macedonia, Albania, Montenegro, BiH: UK Must Fulfill Conditions to Exit the EU

Great Britain is impaitently awaiting the decision of the "Great Five"
Skopje, January 24, 2013, (Njuz) – The Council of Ministers of the countries of the Un-European Union stated today in Skopje that a long road lies ahead of United Kingdom in order for it to join this international organisation.

By way of reminder, the United Kingdom of Great Britain expressed its intent to step out of the European Union (EU) yesterday. However in order to do that it shall have to fulfill a range of preconditions. "Great Britain will first have to sign a Stabilization and Association Pact, and then start a comprehensive process of harmonization of its legislature with the regulations of all countries that are not European Union members. Key priority areas are the regulations on freedom of the media, judiciary, human rights protection and corruption. Only afterwards we shall be able to talk about getting a candidate status, while it is too early to talk about the date for the start of negotiations," said Nikola Gruevski, Prime Minister of Macedonia, the country that currently chairs the Un-European Union.

According to unofficial allegations, significant discord exists among the "Great Five" about whether the time is right to enlarge this organization.

"Some members, like Serbia and Bosnia and Herzegovina for example, consider it too risky to accept a former European Union member-state as a member, due to concerns that the wave of unemployment and poverty could spill over from the EU to the Balkans. However, majority agrees that Great Britain deserves a chance, considering that this country was not a dedicated European Union member, anyway. Supporting this argument is the fact that Britain never abandoned its national currency, which would ease its entry to the Non-Euro Zone," stated a high official from Skopje, on condition of anonymity.

British Prime Minister David Cameron stated today that he feels encouraged by the positions of official Skopje, and that his country will do everything possible to fulfill the conditions as soon as possible.
Bojan Ljubenović

2 comments:

acatheunderground said...

Funny.

Anonymous said...

Smart irony. Well done. keep bushing mate..it's the right tone